Finding Joy on Tough Days

I've been in and out of therapy over the years and when I decided to start this blog, I combed through my box of endless notebooks that are barely full with years worth of therapy notes, quotes, etc. Each of them reflects a different point in my life, (and a reminder that I'm really bad about finishing notebooks!) but the overall theme has remained the same: How do I get through these rough patches?

Of course, nothing I wrote is particularly groundbreaking, but I like to add some personal examples to each thought of things that have really helped me.

For example, a thought from last year was: "With dealing with depression, joy can feel hard to find. On the toughest days, it might seem like happiness is out of reach, but small moments of light are still possible."
Underneath this thought, I wrote "Coffee, sunshine, laughter, community, cheering on friends."

Most of these are small things we take for granted, while the community and friendship is something I thought I had completely lost until I started really connecting with the HMJ community online. Whether it be through Discord, Bluesky, Twitch, etc. I've been introduced to a wonderful group of people who remind me to look outside of myself and see how much joy is possible in each and every day. 

When people share their pets, achievements, or even their food and drink, I love getting a glimpse into their lives as they navigate this wild world we're all living in. It's really put things into perspective for me and helped me get out of the inward spiral I tend to catch myself experiencing when my brain decides to be a jerk. I still am very much an introverted person whose social battery runs out very quickly when I'm out and around lots of people. However, being able to truly connect with people after the forced-separation that the pandemic caused as well as some personal traumas, has me really feeling like I'm coming back out of my shell that I've hidden in for far too long. 

There are days when I am definitely not proud of myself, but those days are becoming fewer and fewer as time goes on and I truly feel like I am aiming for that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. 

I'm pushing for a much better 2025 and am so thankful for all of the bright spots that are lighting my way!

A view of the ocean from a trip I did not want to take, but I had a few hours to myself and I needed to go find some joy in the day before it was over. This was the most peace I'd had in a long time.